Well, things seem to be settling down with my mom. She has been back at the Arbors for six days now, and though her blood sugar is still fluctuating, she is able to be kept relatively stable there. We successfully visited her, and she seemed settled in her bright, sunny room. I brought her a prism and some more clothes. She wanted us to take her home when we first got there, but we distracted her with photos and after a while she got sleepy, so we slipped away. She is no longer anchored in the present -- she eases effortlessly into the past when her parents were alive, and her two weeks in the hospital are long gone. I do not doubt that she is in the right place to have her needs met now, but it is so, so hard. I do feel deeply honored every time she asks someone to help her call me -- I can not do what she wants me so desperately to do, but since out of all the people in the world, I am the one she calls to, I know that I must have done something right, sometime.
The next phase will be the daunting process of straightening out her house and dealing with her car. But there will be happiness in that -- my oldest daughter and her fiance are going to move in. They will be the sixth generation of my family to live on the beautiful farm. It feels right.
But before that, or at least while that is going on, my husband and I are going to Florida. Just for a long weekend, in few weeks. The dear friend we went to see last summer passed away last week, and his ashes are going to be buried in his beloved sea. I picture him sailing through the stars every night now. And that is hard, hard, too.